Extinct for a Reason by Scott Cooney & Aaron Adler

Author:Scott Cooney & Aaron Adler
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Gallery Books

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FEEDS ON: The blood of really, really slow-reacting hosts.

HABITAT: Wacky wetlands, quixotic quagmires, goofy glades.

MATING HABITS: Finds it hard to enter into something with a straight face.

DEFENSE MECHANISMS: Being zany for the sake of being zany.

RASTAFARIANTELOPE

Antilocapra Stonicus

RASTAFARIANTELOPE

Illustration courtesy of the Royal Failimal Society, Jamaica

Copyright 2013. All rights reserved.

An herbivore in the truest sense of the word, this laid-back leaper wasn’t afraid to buck the system, skanking across the savannah spreading his semimystical beliefs and preaching the gospel of a certain type of foliage. Not much for breeding or defending his territory, the dreadlocked impala was content to graze on his favorite weed all day long, sometimes missing entire migrations while lying in the field, braying about the oneness of all species and zoning out on the clouds above.

Needless to say, this chilled-out lifestyle wasn’t ideally suited for the rigors of his surroundings. His insatiable appetite attacks would often leave the grasslands barren, and a lack of interest in sprinting left him vulnerable to hungry wildcats with a less than mellow vibe. Whether a true expression of his ideology or just an escape from the stress of the plains, the ganja-loving gazelle’s habit took a toll on his motivation for survival. History suggests he may have been better off had he just laid off the grass, or at least kept his activities strictly recreational.

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